My heart seems to be an open gaping wound with no healing in sight. What happened to the family eternal that I had imagined in my mind??? Where has that family gone??? I know that we have all headed off in different directions over the last several years but for the family that in my mind had it more together than most, we have sure been derailed!
Is this what comes from getting comfortable? Lax in our day to day efforts of trying to become better at being a family? I don't know, but for some reason it strikes me strongly that we have gotten very comfy in our positions in life. SOme with their responsibilities with kids getting to school and such, me with my kids trying to grow up as adults and make it in the real world...and Dad & Mom trying ti figure out how to hold it together as a married couple who has fallen out of love too many times to really be able to bandage this one...
Which ever scenario you are looking in at or our from, it seems to be the only one that matters! I wish so much that the only view that mattered was the one that we could se each morning as we take a gaze in the mirror. However, everyone in some way or another is affected by the gaze, that we seem to think is so casual. My heart hurts in way I never thought was possible! My belief in things that can and can not be accomplished is wavering... can there be a happy ever after? I am not sure if there can be...but I am for sure hoping that there might be and that those if us that remain will and are willing to fight for it, instead of giving in to the over powering desire to have everything go our way! I love you all! I miss my family! Hugs! and loves!
